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Wednesday, November 5

ha its me again
i have done it again i have lost focus and statred looking at life negatively its so easy to do and so hard to stop
well i spend all my money again i know stupid me
but i did get something good out of it this time
i had a friend of mine build me a computer so i well have a new way to waste my time and my life and something new lying around to realy piss me off
i have am getting all my stuff back tomorow so thats a good thing out of storage from the deployment and i now have my car back so i am moble again

i have been discovering that when i spend all my money that i have a tendence to get depressed easer and for me thats pretty easy to do for me
so i well have to remeber that next month

i realy do not feel good phyiscal or mentaly
i still get sick in my stomach rideing in cars from motion sickness
i chip a tooth today dont know how all of a sudden my tooth started to decay
i have to realy refocus on one thing at a time
the showers in my new building are not that great the water is so hot its stupid hot it takes for ecver to get it just warm and the shower heads arent good either its just all around bad thats makes life worse cause have you ever noticed that a good shower well make you feel better
well i am not even doing personal hygienn that much so that is making me more depressed i am sinking fast here fokes
i well say it again i need to concentrat on doing the small things and one thing at a time or else i am never going to see the sun rising on my life
help HELP help
on the good side i have all my old bills paid so that a goood thing i haveny made new ones so this is a reall good thing


Monday, November 3

well i am back in germany now
i want to do some more posting but life is a mess right now physicaly and mentaly
right now i have to get up from here and go do somepaper work that needs to be done in a couple of hours
see yea

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